I am an asshole. I admit it. But at least I am learning. You see, this mind is like a steel trap that is always churning. And I am willing to recreate, redefine, shine, polish, and perfect myself. In a way that is a model of what you require and desire to keep. And this I would do for me. My last ditch effort to keep the things that help me to round off the pointy edges until I am what I choose to be. A man who can move away with you. Someone you can trust. Trust in. And trust yourself to be with. I have no hope to move you. My words are empty and lacking. My tears found wanting. I vomit forth a string of truths that in the past I may have misused in an attempt to find out if the future holds any more time for me with my muse. And I will admit to most of my apologies being just a hidden excuse. I stand bare. Unaware of whether you will stay or go and not contingent on which. You see, that is the real bitch. I am cultivating my sense of love to complete this. Hoping that it isn'’t broken but knowing the repairs need to be made just the same. I don't know why? For now we'’ll say to keep me sane. But if the spark remains, I want to find it. Feed it. Nurture it. And this is as honest as I can be. It isn'’t a manipulation if the plan is right there for you to see. The cold can thaw if the heat remains. And I will stay to birth it through all the labor pains. But I need you to search and find if there is something that you can hand to me as mine. I promise not to break it. Just let me love you. Here is my hand.. Take it.

¶ 12:01 AM